Transition

Never in my life before have I felt time move this rapidly. I wish there was a way to say this without dragging after it the cliche-ness that often accompanies this phrase-but I feel like this time last year was only just a few months ago. It's Halloween. My favorite holiday. Yet this year does not feel like Halloween whatsoever. Not one iota. This has something to do with the fact that I have been in Tahoe for the past 3 days on The Shore at Bayside's Consumed church conference. I arrived home only a few hours ago and have forgotten all day long that it is that time of year again. The time of green, purple, black and orange. The time of candy out the wazoo. The time of costumes and cats. Also, for the majority of the population, the time of floozy costumes and sickening amounts of alcohol. I regret to say that I used to be in that exact place. I used to be one of those girls. I rejoice to say that since then, SO much...scratch that-EVERYTHING has changed. If I met that girl now, I would detest her no doubt. I detest her still.

Last year on October 31st marked a time in my life that I could honestly say I came closest to hitting rock bottom. So the transition that has taken place in me and everything else around me ever since one year exactly from today....is incomprehensible and staggering. The term "it blows my mind" does not come close to describing the contrast that I feel and see. As I look through the pictures of everyone having their usual good time on Halloween as most people do, at first I sometimes feel a twinge of...nostalgia? Longing? Then I come to my senses, put things in perspective. They call it "wasted" for a reason. There goes another night of your life that you won't remember. Sometimes people just live to look forward to the next night that they won't remember. Congratulations. Whenever I feel a sadness for the "fun" that I used to have but choose not to participate in anymore...I just remember that I have a higher calling. We all do but none of us embrace it. To put it bluntly, we all were made for a bigger purpose and bigger dreams-that don't include wasting and giving your body away.

Maybe I sound conservative. Maybe I sound like a prude. Call it what you want. But at the end of the day, you have to ask yourself...does it get any better than this? Is this the best that it's gonna get for me in this lifestyle? Is this the most that I want for myself and my life? People just want to live their lives and have fun because hey-you only get one life to live right? EXACTLY. One life to live-so once your kind of "fun" is over...what are you left with? It's the long run that matters isn't it? It's called the LONG run for a reason-because that's what will last. The more I look back on my life one year ago today...I wonder what my life will be like NEXT year-next Halloween. Now that I see the overwhelming capacity for change in just 365 days...I literally cannot wait for this time next year. I guess my only option is to wait though-last time I checked time doesn't consult me before propelling. And the more I look at people's lives that I used to be a part of...the more I see that for them...life just goes on-exactly how it always has.

October 31st, 2009

October 31st, 2010

Different Girls.

"Forgotten the taste and smell of a world that she's left behind."

What do you want the most in life?

I asked a friend of mine a question a while back, he recently answered and his answer blew me away. My question was this:

"If you had one wish, as of right now in life, what would you wish for? In other words, what's one of the things you want the most right now?"

Most people's answers might be similar to one another's, might include pretty legitimate yet typical desires such as:

More financial stability/wealth

The perfect match/life partner

Get my career going

To feel loved

World peace (give me a break)

Be a "good person"

Travel the world

Make a difference

Give or take a few, the answer varies greatly depending on the person obviously. But you'd be surprised at how often the plethora of answers can all boil down to one root issue/want in the end. But back to my friend's answer. It is a response that I would have never expected, a reply that I think a very small percentage of people (if any) would answer, and an extremely wise answer at that. And the answer is this:

"To be above reproach."

Reproach by definition means: "to find fault with (a person, group, etc.); blame; censure; to be a cause of blame or discredit to

If you think about it, being above reproach is an incredibly empowering and rewarding place to be. To have the security and confidence of knowing that you are exonerated from any blame-it's a good feeling. Now you might wonder...ok so how do you do that? How do you get there?

1 Timothy chapter 3 goes on to talk all about it; both men and women that are above reproach and what that entails. Some of the characteristics include:

"temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not addicted to wine or pugnacious, but gentle, peaceable, free from the love of money. He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity (but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?), and not a new convert, so that he will not become conceited and fall into the condemnation incurred by the devil. And he must have a good reputation with those outside the church, so that he will not fall into reproach and the snare of the devil."

"Women must likewise be dignified, not malicious gossips, but temperate, faithful in all things."

Philippians 2: 14-16 reveals, "Do all things without grumbling or disputing; so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world, holding fast the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I will have reason to glory because I did not run in vain nor toil in vain."

All summed up into one main vein...being above reproach ultimately means being Christ-like. As Christ like as we can possibly be with the power of the Holy Spirit as our Counselor, Teacher, and Conviction. Being Christ-like is more often than not, going to go against the grain of our human nature. It will be difficult not to get defensive when others hurl insults at you. It will be difficult to be slow to speak, slow to be angry...when someone is accusing you of falsities. It will be difficult to love someone when they do not treat you with respect at all. But that is what we are called to. That is what comes with the beautiful package that we accepted when we said "yes" to God's precious free gift of salvation and the luxury of even being above reproach as He was (even while in His human form, temptations and all).

"You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.' But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on the right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you.

You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; ...For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? If you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Matthew 5: 38-48

What this is saying here is that Christ's ways operate contrary to the world's ways. It is saying that vengeance and spite is not fit for God's children. Punishment and consequences lie with the Lord, He will have His way with everyone. "Getting back" at people is not having a gentle and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:4) which means always having the other person's best interest in mind, not proving them wrong.

"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others."

Philippians 2:3-4

"'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,' declares the Lord. 'For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.'"

Isaiah 55: 8-9

Following Christ is not the comfortable, easy route. But it is assuredly the most rewarding in the long run-which we will all get to someday sooner than we think. The long run-so why don't more of us invest in the long run instead of the short run? It really only makes sense.

"For such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men. Act as free men, and do not use your freedom as a covering for evil, but use it as bond-slaves of God. honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king."

1 Peter 2: 15-17

AMEN-so clearly from this previous verse, by striving to be above reproach as is fit for the sons and daughters of the king, we will silence the ignorantly foolish. They will have nothing against us if our way is blameless. Nothing rational at least.

So next time you have the impulse to strike back, become defensive or sarcastic in a useless argument, lose your patience for just a split second, ask yourself...is what I'm about to do going to help me become above reproach? Striving to be above reproach for Christ's sake is striving to be Christlike which, in the end, is the reason that we are all here.

"This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God."

James 1:19-20

As a short add on that tied in perfectly with this topic, my daily devotion for today titled "Handling Loneliness".

"1. Loneliness caused by isolating ourselves

2. Loneliness caused by circumstances beyond our control

3. Loneliness caused by spiritual or psychological isolation,

This third loneliness is the aspect that that I want to hone in on. It goes on to say:

"You've probably heard the saying, 'It's lonely at the top.' This type of loneliness often attacks those in positions of spiritual leadership. Loneliness always seems to intensify when we can't find others who share our beliefs."

It occurred to me after reading this that many people who value and strive to be above reproach most likely experience this type of loneliness.

"For the eye of the Lord move eto and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His."

2 Chronicles 16: 9

We should embrace this kind of loneliness for God's glory-the kind of loneliness of being one of the few followers of Christ whose heart is completely His.

Let Go and Let God

I was contemplating and pondering one of the many lessons that I have learned this year and am still continuing to learn. It is quite simple actually...yet not so simple to "master", despite the fact that this particular "quality" can never fully be mastered. Maturity is a PROCESS. It cannot be gained all at once-on rare occasions maybe in large bulks. It is a series of events that, should you choose to respond Biblically to, shapes you into a more mature person. The circumstances, trials, and troubles serve as the vessels through which maturity can be gained. It is a lifelong process. I am also a firm believer in the fact that those who claim to be mature, are not as mature as they think. Just as those who claim that they are wise people are not as wise as they proclaim to be.

"And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

Romans 5:3-5

This verse clearly depicts the value and worth of responding in a Godly manner toward trials and tribulations, ultimately concluding in hope which does not disappoint. And lets be honest-we all know that feeling disappointed is one of the worst possible feelings one can experience. A hopeless kind of feeling-and this verse guarantees our hope. Can it get any better than that?

"When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things."

1 Corinthians 13:11

Here we see that transition from a child into maturity. This involves a change and transition also, in the activities that we participate in...or rather HOW we participate in them in some cases. Now, not to be mistaken with the verse that communicates that we should have a childlike faith. Adults have a way of over-complicating, over-analyzing, and over-dramatizing things. Children do not know any better and easily trust and do not become entrenched in skepticism very often. This verse just points out that in the maturity process, changes occur. You begin to act differently than you used to. PROCESS.

"And I, brethren, could not speak to you as to spiritual men, but as to men of flesh, as to infants in Christ. I have you milk to drink, not solid food; for you were not yet able to receive it. Indeed, even now you are not yet able, for you are still fleshly. For since there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not fleshly, and are you not walking like mere men?"

Here we see the maturity of believers compared to young infants and to spiritual men. Just as infants cannot partake of meat, only milk, so young, immature believers in Christ cannot yet partake of the meat of Scripture. They must be nursed on milk first-it does not happen ALL AT ONCE. PROCESS.

So much more can be encapsulated within the topic of spiritual maturity, maturity in general, and childlike faith. But my point was just to point out the simplicity of the truth of this lesson-maturity is a life-long process that cannot be expedited. I cannot just try, try, try and ask for maturity and expect myself to attain it all at once. I just need to let go, and let God. Let Him do what He does.

"...You do not have because you do not ask." James 4:2

If you ask, He will come through-but with no strain there will come no strength. So you ask? Be ready for trials to be thrown your way-how else do you grow and mature?

Let me be a girl for 2 minutes

I want you to love to take pictures. I want you to be adamant and sentimental about traditions and making memories like I am about a lot of things. I want you to make me laugh all the time without even trying to AND when you are trying to. I want you to be creative. I want you to have a thing for big dogs like me. I want you to want me to sing to you. I want you to be a protector. I want you to have the physical capability to snap anyone in half but the temperament to never hurt a fly. I want you to be hospitable so that we can always have our door open. I want you to live to travel. I want you to be a healthy eater. I want you to love to ask me questions. I want you to be extremely easy going-not easily offended at all. I want you to be so incredibly confident with who you are but so beautifully humbled in Christ simultaneously. I want you to have gnarly dance moves. I want you to love and completely connect with kids-because I definitely do not. I want you to completely not care what anyone thinks of you. I want you to be irrationally spontaneous. I want you to be really tall. I want you to be a really good listener. I want your buddies to look up to you. I want you to be my personal trainer/motivator. I want you to be astonishingly patient and kind. I want you to be very spiritually mature. I want you to be very generous, not counting possessions as worth much at all. I want you to like cats-and all animals. I want you to thoroughly enjoy spending time with my grandparents. I want you to make intense eye contact. I don't want you to be easily distracted. I want you to be very in touch with your family heritage and roots. I want you to come from a fairly large family-lots of brothers and sisters. I want you to prefer extremely clean and minimal living quarters. I want you to read the newspaper. I want you to be grungy (aka not prissy about looks). I want your male ego to be virtually non existent. I want you to be at least bi-lingual (as I will be). I want you to easily adapt to environments. I don't want you to be into fads and fetishes. I don't want you to be judgmental, but especially not with looks and outward physical appearance. I want you to be way more observant than anyone suspects you are. I don't want you to be easily grossed out. But most of all, I want you to have such a mad insane love for Jesus Christ that it pollutes everything you do in the best way.

I can only imagine all that you want me to be...no pressure right?

ORCHARDS

Theres just something about orchards. So enchanting.

We don't go to a restaurant to eat

A wise speaker named Ron Ritchie (http://ronritchie.org/) who has spoken at my Missions Springs Family Camp in Santa Cruz the past few years always says that we do not go to restaurants to eat. We do not go to the car wash to clean our car. We do not go to the store to buy our items. Most people's first thought in response to these statements would be a response of confusion, contradiction, or maybe irritation. But I would guess mostly confusion followed by a desire to hear an explanation for these seemingly incongruent assertions. Ron would always share a personal story of an experience that he had with another person-a stranger. One of the accounts he shared with us was about a time that he was at a restaurant getting a bite to eat and noticed that the waitress helping their table out looked extremely worn out and beat down. He immediately became invested in finding out a little more about this woman who looked so weary of life. There are plenty of details that fill the space in between what I've begun to describe and the end of the meal as Ron Ritchie left, having planted a seed of encouragement and prayer in this waitresses life. You might think that you are going to a restaurant to eat, when in fact there is a much bigger scheme in play that always involves serving someone else.

I have always found this mindset a very admirable quality and practice when I think back on hearing Ron speak on this and the role that it plays in his everyday life. The mundane routines of everyday life no longer become mundane when the routine of it becomes the investment of Christ, through ourselves (His vessels), in someone else's life. Not until recently have I begun to identify and discover this practice break through in my own everyday life, and not coincidentally it seems to coincide with how much more I am falling madly in love with my Creator-the ULTIMATE Lover. When your Maker's affection and presence is resonating so strongly and richly within your spirit, it is impossible to NOT spill and splash His love onto everyone you encounter. As I heard another wise speaker once say, when your cup is overflowing...you really cannot avoid the spill of it onto someone else when you bump into them.

One of the first incidents that stick out in my mind is the Anberlin concert that I recently attended earlier this month. As the band jammed out their last song, I made my way through the crowd to the bathroom before the rush of rambunctious rockers could flood it. Of course I suspected there would be an encore and so did everyone else, so they stayed planted right where they were. As I was using the mirror in the bathroom, I saw a girl behind me in it laying down on a chaise lounge crying her eyes out. She had a blanket wrapped over/around her and was simply sobbing by herself. Before I could even think about why, how, what...my body just led me over to her. I sat down next to her and began to give her a shoulder and back massage. This is a huge deal for me-I do not do massages. I do not give them and do not receive them-it is a preference of mine. This preference did not even occur to me at this point and it did not bother me to give it out; my hands just guided themselves to it without permission from what I would normally allow. She was looking at me like "Who are you, why are you doing this for me? Thank You." As a girl, I know that when you are crying...the last thing that you want to be asked is "Why are you crying?" You just want to cry. So I looked at her and told her that it was going to be alright. I asked her a couple questions to distract her a bit, "Are you here with someone? Do they know that you're in here?" She responded that she was here with someone and that she was not sure if they knew that she was in here. I don't know if she was drunk and simply wallowing in her befuddled state. Other girls that had stumbled upon her anguished state while using the bathroom were also taking care of her, bringing her water and such. I do not know why I did not ask her name...I am good with names and love to have names for faces to pray for later on. Somehow I forgot this detail-I did find out that she does nails though. As another girl and I continued to sit with her and comfort her the best we could, her sobs simmered down a bit. As soon as I saw that I could leave her with another girl so that she wouldn't be by herself, I bounced. Before I walked out I pointed at her and told her to keep her chin up, while bewilderment was plastered across her face. I hope we killed her with kindness that night. And if she was drunk, I hope she remembers it.

A second, quite recent occurence that reminded me that I do not go for the places but for the people, was yesterday whilst at Apple Hill with my grandma, momsicle, and aunt. As I was perusing the different craft stands and booths, I parked it at one abundant with a plethora of jewelry. A man who seemed rather gruff and rough around the edges was manning the kiosk. As I was grazing over the variety of gems and jewels, I heard a crash directly behind me. I turned around to see the man standing in horrified awe at his whole overturned table of tiny beads, jewels, and plates of creations strewn out all in the dirt. He muttered curses under his breath about how this was not his day, this was the second time this had happened to him today apparently. He began pacing at first, like he didn't even know how to handle this for the second time today, didn't even know where to start cleaning this up. He was honestly quite distraught and so incredibly frustrated. Everyone around him seemed to only look upon him and the scene in pity as if to say "Bummer dude", then continued on their way to a different booth. I walked over and asked if he needed help picking this up, but he was so blinded by disgruntled chagrin that all he could grunt out was "You know, this is just not my day......etc, etc". Taking into account his completely defeated state, I decided to just get down on my knees and start helping him anyway. It would have taken forever for one person to pick up all of the tiny pieces that had spilled all over the place. He soon got down and began picking things up with me. Shortly after that, he asked my name, voiced his appreciation the best he knew how, and began small talk. He asked about my schooling, shared some background on his own schooling, his age (78 I believe), his divorce and how his divorce threw his career path off track. He lives in Arizona helping his mother except for in the winter in which he is here. Somehow he managed to throw in a derogatory Obama comment and went on a bit about how even a bachelor's degree is not enough these days. That "we are all we've got, ourselves." It made me sad and I was aching to enunciate the Support and joy that was so readily available for him to have as his own. But I just let him talk and I listened. Once again, I forgot to ask his name-common courtesy yet it totally slipped my mind. As we finished picking up the tiniest pieces, he offered me anything I wanted in his booth. He said "pick any necklace, anything you want." The kindness from such an originally gruff man broke my heart in the best way. Times like these reveal how our souls really are created for kindness. I tried to turn down his offer but he insisted that I choose something or else "he would have 2 strokes." God forbid he have two strokes...so I selected a pair of earrings that I was eyeing before the table collapsed onto the ground. The particular earrings that I liked and picked happened to be one of the cheapest pairs so he demanded that I pick two. So I did. It is difficult to turn down such adamant man. I had dirt covering my hands and he couldn't have that so he rushed over to me with paper towels and led me to a nearby hose where he proceeded to wash my hands clean. This was such an altruistic act to me and vaguely reminded me of another man that washed people's feet. I had somehow managed to soften a rather brusque and surly man. Scratch that. Christ managed to soften-through his daughter. Like I said-when your cup is overflowing, you can't help but spill it onto other people that you bump into. As I walked away in complete awe of the divine transfer of the greatest love of all, I knew that this man (Bead man), was the reason that I was at Apple Hill. I did not go to Apple Hill for apples :O I was at Apple Hill for Bead man-and I wouldn't have had it any other way. He was by far the highlight of my day.

I could write about so many more divine encounters that brighten up my heart every day in all of the ordinary things that my Best Friend and Lover makes extraordinary through His powerful name. Serving and loving fulfills cravings in my heart and fibers that nothing else satiates-I know I was made for this. We all were made for this-serving others brings the joy that nothing else can bring. I thank my Jesus for the example he left and the opportunity to be His image to others. I still pray for Anberlin bathroom girl and Bead man all the time while simultaneously scolding myself for not asking their names-but He knows their names. He knows every single thing about them actually. So I can rest in that at least. I can't wait for my next trip to the grocery store.

"In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how He Himself said, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'"

Acts 20:35

"For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'"

Galatians 5:13-14

"When He had washed their feet and put on His outer garments and resumed His place, He said to them, 'Do you understand what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet.'"

John 13:12-14

"Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

Luke 6:38

"What you got if you ain't got love? The kind that you just wanna give away, it's ok to open up. Go ahead and let the light shine through."

--Carrie Underwood

"Let us love like we were children."

--Needtobreathe

Valentine's Day

Despite the fact that I generally do not appreciate chick flick movies, my mother netflix'd Valentines Day, (which I had never seen) so I watched it-just for the heck of it. As I began watching it, I immediately disliked it. As I came back to it later and watched the rest of it, it grew on me. Even though I like it now, it's definitely not one of my FAVORITE MOVIES EVER-but it's cute. For sure not unlike all of the other chick flicks out there identical to it. Anyway-this movie is obviously about Valentines Day and the distinction between people who love and despise Valentines Day. Lets be real-the people who have significant others typically tend to enjoy Valentines Day while those who are "alone" do not embrace this "holiday". I personally am not a fan of Valentines Day simply because it is a purely commercialized holiday that gives people an excuse to be unoriginal and uncreative. Not to mention the fact that I am repelled by all things romantic, gushy, and infatuated.

In this movie, one of the ladies hosts an "I Hate Valentine's Day" party every year, complete with a heart shaped pinata that you get to beat all your love woes out on. At first I thought this was a brilliant although pessimistic idea for Valentine's Day simply because it mocks the naivety of the overrated holiday and counters the norm of Valentine's Day obligations. Then I began to think...ok-pessimism towards Valentine's Day is not so uncommon anymore. Sometimes it seems like more people hate this holiday rather than embrace it. So what is left that has not been done? It dawned on me that if this is such a "holiday of love", why aren't we loving? Why are we so focused inward on our own misfortunes? That's not being loving towards anyone including ourselves. If we are one of the individuals feeling "unloved" on this oh-so-cliche day, why not turn the game around and love the crap out of anyone and everyone that we can get our hands on? At this juncture let me clear up what I mean by "loving on people". I am purely referring to agapos love, unconditional as opposed to eros, romantic. I have come to find that helping, encouraging, loving, and serving OTHER people when WE feel unloved not only benefits the person that we are giving to...but it brings us satisfaction and happiness as well.

So this Valentine's Day, why don't we start something new? Why don't we find as many people as we can to show love, adoration, and appreciation to? What better way to take the focus off of the superficiality and dread of Valentine's Day that so many people selfishly indulge in during this season, than by focusing on other people that feel unloved? Don't they need love just as much as us? Maybe more? While we are busy worrying about how loved WE feel on Valentine's Day, why don't we JUST DO IT ourselves and do to others as we would have them do for us?

Maybe this will be the best Valentine's Day yet.

Infatuation

"There are few people who are not ashamed of their love affairs when the infatuation is over."

--Francois, Duc De La Rochefoucauld

"Strange, that some of us, with quick alternate vision, see beyond our infatuations, and even while we rave on the heights, behold the wide plain where our persistent self pauses and awaits us."

--George Eliot

"It is best to love wisely, no doubt; but to love foolishly is better than not to be able to love at all."

--William M. Thackeray

"The essence of love begins when infatuation ends."

--Source Unknown

These quotes link into the last poem that I posted in the sense of "nothing gold lasts forever." Infatuation is rarely seen as infatuation to those that are infatuated. Of course there are always the exceptions; there are some brazen specimens that boldly brandish their infatuation to the world in all awareness of their daft state. But the majority of the time the infatuated are simply too blinded by their own ephemeral frenzied fix to even see straight. Now, just to clear things up a bit for the sake of my brief blog entry-this time around I am taking the infatuation strain off of the romantic arena and honing it in on the infatuation of friendships.

I feel that even friendships are fully capable of experiencing that "honeymoon phase" just like any romantic relationship. That blissful high facet that always takes place upon the inauguration of any new or newfound friendship. Sometimes it may be a friendship that develops with someone who has been in or around our life all along but never kindled into anything more; then due to a chance circumstance or not so chance encounter...it began to bloom into more. The length of time that this "honeymoon phase" can last ranges greatly depending on the person(s). It does not have to be a bad thing...this almost euphoric proclivity. Why would it be a derogatory thing if you are simply basking in the presence of another individual that you are becoming more close knit with and enjoy the company of? The crunch happens when you allow this newfound connection to invade and infiltrate every other area of your life and as a result end up choking out some of the really good friendships and relationships you previously had. When this new addition and attachment initiates a contamination of any other bonds that were previously prominent in your life, this is the point when evaluation needs to be done regarding this new association and preceding associations. Although priority is a word that needs to be taken into account in these situations, balance should take supremacy. Balance of relationships, friendships, and activities is an indispensable asset to cultivating, maintaining and preserving bonds and connections. Overpowering is the most effective way to lose someone, I learned this one the hard way. But on the opposite end of the spectrum I have also witnessed the overwhelming infatuation between two other people and let me tell you-this quells and vanquishes any ambition to perpetuate any further closeness with someone. There is absolutely nothing wrong with adding another heart to love in your life and investing time in them too. But if you plan on devoting the majority of all your time exclusively to only a few choice people or maybe just one choice person, you cannot expect the other relationships in your life to flourish the way they once did if they flourish at all anymore. This may not even bother some people-the loss of fondness and bond in friendships that used to be inseparable. Sometimes it is inevitable due to nothing more than change-the change in people, the change in time, the change in life. Just don't ever let the naivety of new friendship/relationship bliss take the place of other friendships/relationships that have gone through and come out of the infatuation stage and stood the test of time. The most difficult ones are the most rewarding.

And sometimes when someone comes out on the other side of their infatuation haze, when things have worn themselves out and died down...there will be someone waiting for you still. The person that waited through the whole period of straying from them for someone else. The person that had just invested too much of themselves and their time in that friendship that used to be inseparable to just walk away. The person that loved the other too damn much to give up on what they used to have. But sometimes there won't be someone there that waited patiently through it all, hoping and praying that the person would come back to them when they opened their eyes and saw the truth. When you neglect friendships and relationships for a season you always face the chance (whether you realize it or not) that they will not be there when you come back to your senses. Why would you want to risk that?