FERVOR

Sometimes when we have plans, He has different plans. And I was right, my life was about to change-but not in the way that I expected. If it weren't for the supreme network of prayer warriors teaming up on my gramsicle and my momsicle, I don't know what would have happened. But everyone refused to let anything but the best happen for them and for all of the people that they bless in their life. So now, post-transplant, there is so much left to experience. So much left to give and receive. So many things to do with each other. And we've all embarked on this entirely new journey with new possibilities. It's unbelievable how my grandma has a completely new liver. Unfathomable, that every procedure went ridiculously well.

Aside from this miracle, I personally feel as if I am the most alive that I've been in my whole life right now. Not from one thing in particular, but a series of so many small but significant things (including my own choices) that have transformed my life in only 3 months. It seems like its been years since I was the girl that I used to know, and I never want to see her ever again. In the words of Imogen Heap, she's my bad body double. My alter ego. My flesh person. She peeks her head through every now and again but I'm stronger now and she doesn't stay for long. I feel as though a whole new phase of my life is starting...a new chapter. I've finally chosen to REALLY live and not just settle for the status quo and go through the motions. I know this year is just the jump-start to the best years of my life.

Fast starts monday. I fully expect great things to happen.

A MILLION LITTLE PIECES

Do you ever wonder to yourself.....Is my life as I know it about to shatter into a million tiny pieces and come crashing down on all the parts of me that I don't have together yet? I've found that I have been asking myself that question alot lately. There's only one more day until the transplant. It crept up on me faster than I had ever anticipated. One of those things that you always thought about as "one day in the future". Everything seems normal now. But what is going to become normal for me in the next week? Or month? Maybe everything will go miraculously well. But maybe it won't. Even when the things that you have spent ample amounts of time preparing yourself for finally arrive...the preparation is never enough for the actual experience of it. I guess preparation is actually going through it, and in turn that experience will become the preparation for another experience in the future. Alot of preparations, and a lot of experiences, but it makes sense in my head

Online blogger virgin, no more

I guess I jumped onto the online blogging train a little late....but I'm here now and that's all that matters right? I feel like my mind is going to feel a little more categorized and organized after I splash all of my inappropriate and uncalled for thoughts onto this blog. Hey, they gotta go somewhere right? If I keep them locked inside the perimeters of my cranium I've found that they eventually dissolve into the unreachable corners of my mind and it's really hard for me to dig those up again. But maybe some thoughts don't need to be unearthed.