No Detours

How can something so fruitless mean so much to me? How can something so arbitrary have such a profound impact on me? It is incredulous how in one split second your mind can actually go against everything that has made you a new person and given you a new hope. It's pathetic and abstruse how us humans can be so dubiously fickle and consider back tracking all of the progress that we have made because of one little temptation. But the enemy knows that to us, it is not just one little temptation. The deceiver knows all of our buttons and pushes them liberally for his own amusement and entertainment.

Why is it so difficult to not WANT all of the things that I used to want? Why won't my mind just keep up with the pace of my heart? Or is it the other way around......maybe my heart won't keep up with my mind. Why is it so easy to return to quondam lovers? Sometimes it seems as though all of the momentum, grace, and transformation that I've assiduously acquired and accepted this past year...shouldn't be diminishable by one defective decision. However, despite the fact that it is one defective decision...it would also be a purposeful decision-which makes all the difference. This New Years is going to be a hard one. Last new years was when everything changed. Now, after a year of radical transition, I can't believe it has been a whole year. It seems as though it was just a couple months ago.

I realize that this is all very ambiguous...and that there are lots of ellipses' and a lot of prattling. I just need to allow my fingers to assist my mind in puzzling the fragmented pieces together in my brain.

When it all comes down to it, the only thing I need to remember it to keep my eye on the prize.

"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ." Philippians 3:14

I need to remember that everyday of my life, until the day of Redemption, will be a constant struggle, battle, and decision. Decision to choose to crucify my flesh daily, choose Christ daily, choose to bear my cross daily.

"Then He said to them all: 'If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.' " Luke 9:23

"For one split second, she almost turned around but that would be like pouring raindrops back into a cloud. So she took another step, said I see the way out, and I'm gonna take it."

--Carrie Underwood

I just need to remember: NO DETOURS.