Today, a full day of fasting, was definitely not as trying as I was preparing myself for or expecting it to be. I surprisingly was not hungry much at all, I just slept a little more than usual. It's amazing how much and how often we eat when we really are not even hungry at all. After half of the day had passed, I was pleasantly surprised to find that I didn't even feel like eating at all-regardless of hunger issues. I was content doing other things. I also found that food is obviously a MAJOR distraction for me as far as doing the things that I need to get done that I do not want to do. All of a sudden I had all this time to do the things that I would rather not have done but needed to get done. I have no excuse this way, which I hate and relish all at the same time.
As I was reading through the next chapter (chapter 4) of my small group book "The Forgotten God" by Francis Chan...the Holy Spirit convicted the crap out of me-literally. I felt myself being bluntly called out on an issue that I THOUGHT I had under control and an issue that I didn't think needed much monitoring. But as always, God being God, threw me for a loop when I least expected it. In another sense, it was a complete answer to prayer because every time I prepare to spend time with Him I purposefully ask Him to convict me as He wills. And so He did. Praise God.
The issue that I was convicted of seems to be a simple, no-brainer type of concept. But apparently one of those concepts that, even though it is common knowledge, is rarely applied and put into practice. The truth that hit me was this: EVERYTHING. is for God's glory. NOTHING is about us. We've all heard it numerous times...but have you ever let it sink in? Have you ever let it anchor you? ITS GNARLY. The question that triggered this actualization in me was the disconcerting question, "Why do you want the Holy Spirit and His power?"
The inquisition completely took me aback. This is a question that you usually never ponder or contemplate. You just know that, if you are an active follower of Christ, you want the Holy Spirit and His power and movement in your life. But WHY? It could be a number of very legitimate reasons; it could be a number of very selfish reasons. But in the end...there is only one right answer-and for us humans, it is not the answer that meshes with our nature in the flesh. We should and need to be asking for the Holy Spirit's presence, movement, influence, and power in our life...so that HE CAN BE GLORIFIED. NOT US. NOT US. NOT US. Not MY will, but YOURS be done, Father. In order for this factuality to be applied, we must CRUCIFY OURSELVES. This truth is so against the grain in regards to everything that the world believes and sometimes we don't realize how much influence the world has instilled in us. Sometimes we don't even realize that we carry huge errors in Biblical doctrine that need adjusting until they are pruned and exposed.
"Our desire to live should be for the sake and glory of the God who puts us on this earth in the first place."
"The most obvious and stated purpose of these manifestations is for the good and edification of the church. The Spirit desires to use us when our hearts are aligned with this vision, when we are filled with genuine love for the church."
"The Holy Spirit works to glorify Christ, yet so many who emphasize the Holy Spirit seem to draw attention to themselves."
"A sure sign of the Holy Spirit's working is that Christ is magnified, not people." (WOW)
"When the Holy Spirit truly moves, God is the one praised."
"Let's pray that God would empower us so radically that we would get no glory." (AMEN)
"So with yourselves, since you are eager for manifestations of the Spirit, strive to excel in building up the church."
"Ask the Holy Spirit to empower us AS HE SEES FIT."
"He wants us to know that His gift of the Holy Spirit is really not for our own pleasure or purposes...the Spirit is here with us to accomplish God's purposes, not ours."
Continual process and theme of my life: Not my will, but Yours be done.
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