You'd Be Surprised

If you could see me now, you'd be surprised to know that I haven't forgotten about you. You'd be surprised to know that I just recently made my peace...after almost a whole year. You'd probably be surprised to find out that it took that long to heal most of me. You probably would never have guessed that I pray for you everyday-at least once a day. You'd be surprised that I'm not bitter anymore and want nothing more for you than happiness-truly. No strings attached. You'd probably be surprised to know that I love spending time with my family now and that they mean alot to me. You might be quite surprised to know that I don't drink at all anymore. You'd be very surprised to know that I shower now-sometimes pushing 2 or 3 times a day. I brush my hair now, you'd be surprised to find out. You might be surprised to see how I cook and bake now-more than mac n cheese and cookie dough. If you could see me now, you might be surprised to know that I'm going to India like I talked about in the beginning-I'm actually doing it. You probably would never have guessed that I barely eat any sugar these days. You'd be surprised to know that my best friend and I don't talk anymore-for now. You'd be surprised to know that I still haven't forgotten your gate code-and not by choice. You'd be very surprised to know that I wear bra's now-all the time. You'd be surprised to find out that I haven't so much as kissed anyone since you. I haven't let any guy touch me since you. You'd be quite surprised to know that I plan on keeping it that way. You'd be surprised to see that I'm not afraid anymore. Not afraid to sing and use my voice, not afraid of myself. You'd be surprised to find out that I always try to clear&clean my plate because of you. You might be surprised to find out that I’m strictly a black coffee drinker now. You’d be surprised to know that all of those traits that you liked in me in the beginning are amplified now. You’d be surprised to know I channeled my impulsive nature into Jesus instead of drugs, alcohol, or sex like you once predicted I would. You'd be surprised to see that I strive to do well in school now. If you knew me now, you'd be surprised to know that I no longer sleep the day away. You'd be surprised to know that I never cry anymore driving away from my grandparents house. You'd be surprised to know that I can run the full mile now that I always claimed was impossible for me-when you claimed the antipode. You'd be surprised to see how I use big words now. You might be surprised to know that you were my one exception-one and only. You'd be quite surprised to find out that I don't color my hair anymore-but not because I don't want to. If you could see me now, you'd be surprised to see that I am no longer restrained. If you could see me now, you'd be surprised to see that I have no problem speaking my mind anymore. If you could see me now you'd know that I'm nothing like you-never really was. You'd see that I'm nothing like I used to be. If you knew me now, you'd know that I want to get to know each other all over again someday-the way it was always supposed to be.